In the Eye of the Beholder
by Kitsune Moonstar
Summary: Some gossip finds Nanao doubting herself, leading to a meeting with her captain and perhaps a step forward that Nanao has been afraid to take.


Author's note: I do not own Bleach or its characters. This story contains some citrus content. Please do not read if that offends you.

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**In the Eye of the Beholder**

She was a fool. Nanao shook her head, feeling like an idiot, yet she couldn't seem to turn back now. Nanao shivered under the moonlight as she made her way through the dark. She wasn't at all dressed appropriately for the weather, and part of her felt extremely unhappy that she'd allowed another person to get to her this much. Especially one whose opinion really didn't matter. But no, Nanao hadn't been able to just let in go, and now she was walking around outside in nothing but a thin nightgown and a haori that wasn't warm enough, just so she could prove to herself that there was something feminine and pretty about her.

The irony of it was she had just spent a weekend where she was supposed to relax and be pampered. The trip to the hot springs was an annual one for the Shinigami Women's Association. And it had gone quite well until their last night. It had been later, and most of the younger members had already gone to bed. The rest of them were enjoying one last soak in the hot springs, and Nanao had even indulged in the sake Rangiku had brought. It had really been a lovely evening up until the point where the conversation had turned to romantic speculation.

Nanao had not participated in the conversation. She hadn't really paid attention to it until her captain's name was mentioned. She'd been leaning back with her eyes closed relaxing.

"Kyoraku has to be in it for the thrill of the chase. There's no other possible reason. I mean, come on. She's plain and utilitarian, has no curves, and her personality isn't anything a man would want to wake up to."

"There has to me more to her that that. I mean, Captain Kyoraku's too discerning a man to settle for a woman who couldn't satisfy him," another voice spoke up.

"He probably just does it, so she feels wanted. I mean, if she left the Eighth, he'd have to do his own paperwork," a third woman chimed in.

And that was as far as the conversation got before both Rangiku and Unohana intervened. Nanao had flushed with shame and been glad that she was hard to see in her little corner of the pool. Hopefully, no one realized that she was there. But it had been enough for her to question herself once again. Nanao knew that she wasn't terribly pretty, but she liked to think that she was at least a little attractive. But she hadn't been feeling attractive at all after overhearing that conversation, and that was what led her to walking in a moonlit garden in silk night gown and a cotton haori in the middle of March. There might not be snow on the ground, but it was still chilly.

The moonlight made her feel a little better. But Nanao was beginning to think that the nightgown was a mistake. Normally, the soft, silky material made her feel pretty and sensual, but right now she was just cold. Nanao sighed. This really was one of her more idiotic ideas. She should go back to her quarters, have a cup of tea, and go to bed. There would be plenty of work tomorrow, and Nanao didn't need to waste her time on foolishness. She turned, planning to do just that and stopped short. She was no longer the only one in the garden.

"Nanao-chan?" She could hear the frown in her captain's voice. "You must be freezing. What are you doing out here?"

Before she could answer, Nanao found herself wrapped in her captain's haori and scooped up in his arms.

"You're chilled to the bone, Nanao-chan. Come inside. We'll have a nice hot cup of tea, and you can tell me why you insist on freezing yourself to death."

Nanao opened her mouth to protest and then shivered. She knew her captain had noticed, and she also knew that there was no way to talk him out of this now. She bit back a sigh. She really didn't want to discuss her reasons for being out tonight with him. That was a recipe for embarrassment and disaster. Her captain was a terribly kind man, but Nanao didn't want empty assurances. And she certainly didn't want to admit that she wanted him in particular to consider her pretty and feminine. Nanao might admit to herself that she loved her captain, but she wasn't sure she would ever be able to admit it to him. Especially since she rather doubted that Shunsui Kyoraku was interested in a long term romantic relationship with her. It wasn't something she really wanted to think about either. The last few months had seen Nanao moving much closer to actually having what could be considered a romantic relationship with the man.

Moments later, Nanao found herself set down by a warm fire. Her shoes had mysteriously disappeared.

"Stay right there, Nanao-chan, and warm up. I'll be back with a cup of tea for you in a minute."

There really wasn't anyplace she could go without her shoes, and Nanao couldn't really complain about the heat of the fire. She sighed to herself and let the warmth seep into her bones. How was she going to get out of this one? This really was not a conversation she wanted to have with her captain. They might have shared a few kisses and moved towards a closer relationship in the past few months, but it was rather humiliating to admit to man you liked that you were feeling rather plain and unattractive.

"Here you are, Nanao-chan," he pressed a mug into her hands. "Lady Grey tea with honey and sugar, no cream."

Nanao bent her head over the mug to carefully sipped the tea and hide her blush. He knew exactly how she took her tea. Kyoraku settled beside her. He had his own cup of tea, and for several minutes the only sound was that of the fire. Then her captain sighed.

"So, Nanao-chan, why exactly were you out in the cold when you when you nice warm quarters which are a much better place to be?"

Nanao sighed and frowned at her tea. She didn't dare met his eyes. "It doesn't matter, Captain."

"I think it does." He reached out and took one of her hands; his was much warmer. "You don't normally nearly freeze yourself to death."

"You're exaggerating things, sir." Nanao knew perfectly well that she had been in no danger of freezing to death. "I had already decided to go back inside when you showed up."

He just looked at her. Nanao sighed again.

"It was stupid anyway."

Kyoraku's fingers were under her chin, tilting her face up to look him in the eye. "My Nanao-chan is not stupid. Foolish at times perhaps but not stupid. Besides, we're all fools at some point or another."

She shivered under his gaze. In part it was from the cold, though she was beginning to warm up. But part of it was her reaction to her captain. And Nanao knew that she was going to tell him some of what had sent her out into the cold tonight. Not all of it, because Nanao knew that some of the other shinigami's comments would hurt him just as much as they hurt her, but he would get an explanation.

"I wanted to stand in the moonlight for a little while," that was as much truth as she could give him without admitting to the feelings that had driven her out tonight. Then she trotted out a line that she'd seen Rangiku use with Captain Hitsugaya many times, and it always worked for Rangiku. "It's a girl thing."

Something changed in her captain's eyes, and Nanao suddenly had the feeling that the line worked on Captain Hitsugaya because he was so young. For Nanao suddenly found herself trapped in her captain's lap, her head spinning a little at how fast he had moved. Kyoraku had one of her hands in his own, and he seemed to be examining it closely.

"It baffles me how people can miss just how lovely you are," his voice was a soft rumble. "I love your hands you know, Nanao. Your fingers are long and elegant no matter if you're signing paperwork or playing the koto. They always move so gracefully."

Nanao was pretty sure she was blushing as he pressed a kiss to each fingertip.

"Of course, that's nothing compared to watching you practice with Yamazakurakaze or sparring with you. You've always been such a graceful fighter."

Shunsui pressed a kiss to her palm before repeating his actions with her other hand. He was one of the few people who knew the name of her zanpakuto or has seen her practice with it. Of course, he was the one who had probably taught her the most about sword work. It had not been a skill she had particularly excelled at until after he had taken her under his wing once Lisa had left. Nanao shivered again, but this time it wasn't from the cold.

"Of course, the fact that most people don't see your beauty means they don't try to steal you away from me." Shunsui nuzzled her hair. "Which is just as well since I've yet to convince you that I mean it when I say I love you."

The firelight warmed his eyes as he shifted her so he could see her face. Shunsui cupped her face in one of his hands. He held her gaze for a moment then kissed her softly, a mere brushing of their lips.

"There may be women with prettier faces than yours, Nanao, but I have never met someone more beautiful than you are."

Nanao's reaction to that was immediately and not at all conscious. It was one of those things she wouldn't have done if she actually thought about it. She reached up and kissed him. Shunsui's hand slid into her hair as he kissed her back. He pulled away momentarily to search her eyes before kissing her again. Nanao was breathless when he finally released her lips, and she snuggled a little deeper into Shunsui's embrace.

"Feeling warmer, dear heart?"

She nodded against his chest.

"Good." Nanao could hear the smile in his voice.

Nanao let out a soft sigh and found exhaustion washing over her. It had been a long day, and she really should have been in bed right now. Especially since she had to be in the office in the morning. Shunsui rose to his feet, cradling her in his arms.

"Bedtime, Nanao-chan."

She made a half-hearted protest that had no effect. Shunsui tucked her into a futon and kissed her forehead. Then Shunsui turned out the lamp before heading for the door.

"Sweet dreams, my beautiful Nanao."

Nanao fell asleep with a smile on her face, feeling rather loved.

Nanao woke to sunlight and warmth. She had a moment of disorientation while she tried to figure out where she was. This was not her room. But it was familiar. Nanao blinked, remembering just how she had ended up in her captain's bedroom, and blushed. She didn't see any sign of her captain though. Nanao crawled out of the futon and quickly folded up the covers. She also neatly folded the pink haori that she was still wearing. Her own haori was still on under that, and Nanao held it wrapped tightly around herself as she set off to find her captain. Or at least breakfast. It was early enough that she rather doubted Kyoraku would be up.

To Nanao's complete surprise, she came across her captain sitting on the porch that faced his little garden. Despite her silent movements, he seemed aware of her the moment she appeared.

"Come have some tea, Nanao-chan."

Nanao soon found herself sitting beside him, sipping a cup of warm lemon tea. Kyoraku didn't talk, and Nanao saw no need to break the silence. Together they watched the garden as the sun continued to rise high. It was rather nice. Nanao let out a soft sigh. Kyoraku reached over and covered one of her hands with his own.

"Are you feeling a little more like yourself, my Nanao-chan?"

She blinked a little. She did feel much more grounded and at ease with herself this morning. It really wasn't like her to fret so much over her appearance or whether she was attractive. Nanao really wasn't sure what had prompted last night. She truthfully wasn't all that unsure of herself. And if she wanted to be truthful with herself, she really wasn't unsure of her captain's feelings for her. Yes, he did flirt with just about every female he met, but she was the only one who had ever really earn the designation of being his, and no one else got the amount or the persistence of teasing and flirting that she did.

"Yes, I think so, sir."

Nanao had no warning. One moment she was sitting beside him with only their hands touching. The next Nanao was sprawled across his lap being very thoroughly kissed. Shunsui released her mouth only to start trailing kisses down her neck. He nipped at her collarbone, causing Nanao to gasp. Her hands had some how found their way into his hair, and there were soft, little whimpering noise slipping out of her mouth. Shunsui nuzzled at her neck and pressed a kiss to her racing pulse.

"Nanao," his voice rumbled in her ear, "if you do not wish this, now is the time to speak."

In response, Nanao used her grip on his hair to pull him down for another kiss. Shunsui tugged her haori off her shoulders, leaving them bare except for the thin straps of the nightgown she wore. The sleeves of the haori bunched around Nanao's elbows, hampering her movement. Shunsui let her struggle with them while he trailed his lips down her neck once again and then began investigating the tops of her breasts with his lips. Nanao let out a moan. Freeing her arms from her haori, she turned her attention to getting Shunsui out of his clothes.

Shunsui didn't do much to aid her in this. He seemed more interested in investigating the curve of her breast with his mouth and fingers. By the time that Nanao managed to get the top of his uniform off him, she had been divested of her nightgown. Moments later, Nanao found herself laid back on the sun warmed wood of the porch as Shunsui hovered over her. His fingers trailed lightly over her skin exploring and closely followed by his mouth. Shunsui's slow, torturous pace was driving her more than a little crazy, but Nanao found herself unable to do anything except lay back and feel when his fingers found their way inside her.

Between the steady strokes of the two fingers and the pressure of his thumb on her clit, Shunsui coaxed her to an orgasm that left Nanao feeling a little dazed. He smiled down at her, licking his fingers clean.

"My beautiful Nanao-chan," he smiled down at her.

Nanao reached up, tangling her fingers in his long hair and pulling him down for a kiss. That had been nice, but she knew he had more in store for her. Besides, Nanao wanted to do exploring of her own. Her fingers trailed across his stubbly cheeks while she dropped a line of kisses down Shunsui's neck. Shunsui's arms slid around her, one of his hands tracing her spine as he pressed them closer together. He was murmuring something almost too low to hear, but Nanao was too distracted by the feel of his skin against her own to really pay attention. She nipped at his collarbone, prompting a growl from him. Shunsui slid a hand in to her hair and pulling her face back so he could kiss her.

His knee nudged her legs apart, and Nanao spread her legs willingly. They have been playing long enough to her mind, and Nanao shivers in anticipation. She might not have much experience when it comes to sex, but she knew that this was definitely going to be much more satisfying for her than the handful of experiences she'd had brought on curiosity and Rangiku's matchmaking. Rangiku had always claimed things were better when the heart was involved.

Shunsui kissed her as he slid into her, inch by torturous inch. He stilled once he was fully seated inside her, leaving Nanao feeling both stretched and full. She bucked up against his him, wanting him to move. Shunsui chuckled.

"So impatient, Nanao-chan."

But he did begin to move with slow, steady strokes that drove Nanao higher. They quickly found a rhythm together, and Nanao found herself nearly drowning in pleasure. Then Shunsui did something that changed the angle of his thrusts, and Nanao lost herself in the tide of sensation that swept over her.

Afterwards, Shunsui wrapped his pink haori around them both and cuddled her close. Nanao found herself content to curl up next to Shunsui and rest her head against his chest. They probably should visit the office at some point today, but for once she was content to let the office worry about itself. At least for the next little while. Shunsui was idly tracing random patterns on her skin. Nanao let out a soft sigh and just let herself relax.

Shunsui kissed her temple. "Ne, Nanao-chan, you're not going to run away on me, are you?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. I do care for you, you know. It's just--"

"My Nanao-chan tends to be cautious, especially when it comes to her heart," Shunsui held her a little closer, "but then, that just balances out my impetuous nature. Not that I mind chasing after you, precious, but I like catching you every once in awhile."

Nanao laughed. She didn't quite know where this was going to go, but her relationship with Shunsui Kyoraku had always been one of her few constants in life, and she trusted it enough that she was willing too see where this took them in the future. Because Shunsui thought she was beautiful even when she was exhausted after a long of work, and he made her believe it as well.


End file.
